Very recently, I was faced with an unforeseen circumstance which in the moment seemed like a challenge to my resources, but what God quickly revealed actually to be a deeper issue.
Currently, I am a Senior at Bethel University. Whenever I recount the fact that I’ve had the opportunity to further my education and see God bless my efforts, it wells up in prayers of thanksgiving every time. Deciding to attend a university that costs nothing short of a new car yearly to attend was a step of faith in and of itself. But confident in hearing God’s call to ministry, it didn’t take much thought to believe God would “supply all my needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus,” because, “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Philippians 4:19; Romans 8:28). Every Christian should be confident in their steps of faith even when those decisions may, at times, seem “rash” to others. Because when we live out of the King’s riches, He will never let us fall short. I believe that, I will defend that, and by God’s grace, I will live out of that philosophy.
But back to a couple weeks ago. I was under the impression and confidence that I had settled up all my financial obligations for the semester. Monday, I got a bill informing me that I owe nearly two grand still in housing fees and the deadline is the following Friday. In a moment of sheer panic, I resisted the urge to accuse the ladies in the financial aid office of conspiracy because in all reality, it wasn’t unfair. As much as I wanted to say I was a victim entitled to compensation, the housing fee just failed to apply until that day. I called a pastor friend in humiliation to plead for a job, but really I just wanted guidance and a calming word, which I graciously received. I’ll spare the details of a week’s worth of confusion, frustration, and desperation, but here’s how God in His patience and grace met me there and could maybe reveal how you can trust Him in your faith-requiring circumstances:
Monday, my pastor, mentor and friend lovingly told me it was okay to admit the situation sucked. Knowing God will, in His benevolent Sovereignty, bring us through all things to a greater glory does not mean we won’t go through weeks that suck and test our trust. How else are we going to exercise faith?
Also, calling someone confessing I was desperate and in need was a humbling stretch for me. But believers should know that of all people, we are never ever in this battle alone.
Tuesday, I made plans to have a sit down with someone from the Financial Aid office to get clarity on my situation. We can’t overlook the simple act of clearing the air. Maybe there was a mistake and I was worked up for no reason. Know exactly what you’re trusting God for.
Wednesday, I was experiencing a surge of anxiety and frustration after finding out that there was no mistake, I really did have to pay the large bill. I ran to the Father, I ran to Scripture, I ran to prayer. I read 2 Chronicles 20 and felt led to spend the day in prayer, fasting and worship. And that’s when it hit me…
The issue I was faced with wasn’t a money issue, it was a belief issue. It was a momentary realization that I wasn’t believing God would provide for the thing after the thing. I had had other financial plans in mind and when this new burden came along, not only were those plans somewhat shattered, but I was doubting that God had my future financial needs and interests (other than schooling) in mind and in hand. But compared to our Father’s riches and the ways in which He works, two thousand dollars is not too much for Him to handle and a few hundred left in the bank account is not too little for Him to work with.
Thursday, I woke up at peace that I could pay this bill knowing God will take care of my heart and my future. I decided to take advantage of a payment plan option which meant I didn’t have to pay on the first deadline the next day and the payments would be broken into three smaller portions.
The following Sunday, our pastor briefly reminded the congregation of God’s Name which God tells Moses in Exodus 3: “I AM who I AM” (Exodus 3:14). This can also be translated, “I WILL BE who I WILL BE.” Which means God absolutely is and will always be and will never change!
Here’s where I will end. Regardless of what I believe or fail to believe at a certain point in time, God is who He is and will always be who He will always be. He is my Provider even when I fail to believe it. When I am faithless, He is faithful.
Thank you for allowing me to share this part of my growing faith journey with you and I pray in your unforeseen, seemingly impossible suffering, you would receive faith because of “the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Author Spotlight:
Alex
Hey, everybody! My name is Alex! I have a growing passion for the Scriptures, being changed by them as they fill my mind and heart. Through teaching and preaching, I desire to help other believers know the abounding richness of the Scriptures for themselves. Read more of my writing here.
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