Empty Prayers

Maybe this is just me, but I have a lot of trouble praying. If I had to guess, I’m probably not the only one. Some people are really good at it, they always know what to say, they never run out of words, and they never get tired of communing with the literal God of the universe.

That’s great, I’m happy for them.

But most people are probably the other way around:

“What am I even supposed to talk about?”

“Is it cool that I haven’t talked to God in a few months, but I’m coming to Him now since my relative is sick?”

“I don’t think God wants to hear from me, I just did and I feel guilty.”

Ever said any of those? I know I have. Every. Single. One. I’m going to address all of those in this post, but before I do, here are some things that I know about God:

He’s our Father. He loves us. He wants to hear from us. He knows our hearts and our minds. He knows what we’ve done and He loves us anyway. And here’s something I know about love: When you do something because you know someone else will appreciate it, even when you’re not feelin’ it… that’s love. 

What am I even supposed to talk about?

Did you know you can be honest with God? Like, you can just tell Him how you’re doing and what you’re feeling. He already knows your heart and He already knows your thoughts, but He wants to hear from you anyway because He loves you deeply.

When you’re broken-hearted about a relationship and you come to Him saying, “God, I just wanna pray for this country right now, with the election and riots and everything…” God hears you, but He’s wondering when you’re going to tell Him what’s really burdening you. He’s wondering when you’re going to show Him where it hurts.

When the cancer is spreading and you’re scared to death that you’re going to lose your friend, so you come to God and say, “God, grant the doctors wisdom…” He hears you, but He’s wondering when you’re going to collapse into His arms in tears like you so desperately want to. He’s wondering when you’re going to tell Him how miserably scared you are and how hopeless you feel. He’s wondering when you’re going to beg Him for a miracle like you so desperately yearn for. He’s wondering when you’re going to let Him comfort you like He strongly desires to.

When you’re furious after a drunk driver totals your car and your insurance won’t cover the cost, so you come to God saying, “God, I’m just thankful no one was hurt…” He hears you, but He’s wondering when you’re going to tell Him how you really feel. He’s wondering when you’re going to blame Him to His face and tell Him He owes you a new car.

You can be honest with God. I don’t know that I’ve ever had to ask, “What am I even supposed to talk about?” after coming to that realization. Even when I truly don’t know what to say, I can come to Him and say, “God, I don’t know what to say,” and then He helps me to understand my feelings. Scared. Worried. Angry. Sad. Guilty.

Even when I’m mad at God, even when I’m blaming Him for something, I can come to Him and say, “God, I’m kind of mad at you right now, I don’t really want to talk to you,” and He can remind me of His great, deep love for me: I work all things out for the good of those who love me.

Have you ever read through the book of Psalms? David wrote some raw, honest prayers. “You mean, you can talk to the God of the universe like that? You can just… vent to Him?” Yup. David, “a man after God’s own heart,” did it. And that “God of the universe” you’ve described, He’s also our Father. He loves us. You can be honest with God. 

Is it cool that I haven’t talked to God in a few months, but I’m coming to Him now since my relative is sick?

Imagine you’re a father (ladies, you can imagine you’re a mother if you want, the analogy will fall apart a little bit, but you’ll get the idea). Imagine spending 18 years pouring into this child of yours (let’s say he’s a boy so I don’t have to dehumanize him by calling him “it”).

He’s a part of you, he shares your DNA. You love him, you raise him, you teach him things and he teaches you things. Years and years and years of laughter, tears, sleepless nights spent worrying, and proud moments of achievement. You loved this child before he knew to love you, you loved this child before he had the chance to try and earn it, and you loved this child even when he turned 18, packed his bags, moved out, and never looked back. You call your child regularly, but he never answers. You still love him, though. Then, one day, years later, his name pops up on your phone. He’s calling you.

In that moment, before even knowing what he’s calling to say, how do you feel? Your son, the very son that shares your DNA, that you watched grow up, that you raised yourself, that you love deeply even now, is finally reaching out to you after all these years of silence.

What’s going through your head as you read his name on your phone?

What’s your heart rate at? Is it faster?

How’s your posture? Did you perk up? Are you even still sitting?

You pick up the phone: “Hey dad, I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, but I’ve got a flat tire. I don’t have a spare, I can’t afford a tow, and my friends won’t answer. I’m a couple hours away from home, but can you come pick me up?”

What do you do?

Are you upset because you haven’t heard from him in years, but now that he needs help, he’s reaching out?

Of course not! He’s your son and you love him! You’d be ecstatic to hear from him, even if he is just calling to ask for help.

Why would God, our loving Father, who loves us so much more than we can even comprehend, respond any differently to us?

Don’t be ashamed to come to God when you need help, even if it’s been a while. He wants to hear from you. Shame is not from God; it’s a trick from the enemy to discourage you from reaching out to the only one who can really change your circumstances… and change your heart.

However, it’s important to note that ignoring God until you need Him should not become a habit. A relationship requires intentionality to flourish, not once-a-month-or-less check-ins. However, I shared this analogy with you for the purpose of disposing of any guilt that people often feel when it comes to praying after a long time. You don’t have to feel guilty, God loves you so unimaginably much and He actually wants to hear from you. Don’t treat Him like a credit card pulling Him out of your pocket reluctantly when you need Him and leaving Him in your wallet the rest of the time. He’s your Father.

“I don’t think God wants to hear from me, I just did and I feel guilty.”

Shame is such a crippling thing. It binds us, holding us captive, preventing us from living in the freedom offered to us by Christ. It demands secrecy, “No one else can know what you’ve done.” It poisons us with paranoia, “What if someone finds out?” It isolates us from each other and from God.

Here’s my advice: Don’t let it.

Even if that means waking up every morning and saying the same prayer: “God, I know I messed up again, but I also know that you’ve already forgiven me. Help me to be a better me. I don’t want to live in the bondage of sin and shame any longer. Take this guilt from me.”

To be brutally honest, there was a long season of my life where I was battling a difficult addiction. In that long season, I refused to talk to God. What am I supposed to say? Sorry? I’m just going to turn around and give in again, what’s the point? I was so ashamed, just the thought of coming before God in prayer caused me to hang my head in defeat. I allowed my shame to destroy my relationship with my Father and Creator. I can only pray that you don’t do the same.

To live freely in Christ Jesus is not to live a life devoid of sin; none of us are perfect, we will all make mistakes, and we will all foolishly walk into the same traps over and over and over again. To live freely in Christ Jesus is to first allow Christ to take that guilt and that shame away. You need not hide your sins. You need not hide your struggles. You need not live a life in secrecy, terrified of being found out. Allow God to use your battles as a testimony of His great strength. It starts with a prayer: “God, here I am again.” Then a confession: “I’ve done it again.” Then, even though it may be hard, confess again to some friends or a small group who will hold you accountable and encourage you: “This may come as a surprise to you, but…”

God knows what you’ve done. He loves you anyway. He loves you so much that He’s willing to walk with you through your valleys, and He loves you enough not to leave you there. Embracing this grace that’s offered to us, embracing our Father leads to change. Living in a cycle of habitual sin does not have to be your life. Let Christ free you from your shame and transform you. Watch as your sin decreases.

It all starts with a simple prayer; an intentional decision to set aside your guilt and tell your loving Father what’s troubling you. There is nothing you can do that can separate you from God’s love. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

Take some time today and spend it in prayer. Tell God what’s been weighing on you. Tell Him how you feel. If you don’t know, then ask Him and spend some time silently listening. I bet the simple act of sitting in silence will be enough to let your brain remind you of what you’re anxious about. Maybe you need something from God, but you’ve been too afraid to ask since it’s been so long. Ask Him anyways. If guilt and shame have been keeping you from praying, be rid of it today. It all starts with a prayer. “Hey God, here’s what’s on my heart…”


Author:

Connor

Meet Connor

My name is Connor. I recently started an internship at my church leading our Young Adult Ministry while I take classes online through Grace College. I’m passionate about ministry, specifically in America. I want to be part of helping the American church change and grow. Read more of my writing here.


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Featured Photo by Paula Schmidt from Pexels

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